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Sunday, 19 October 2014

Dating a Abang Mata Biru

picture from google. the closest to his look i can find. 

D : "can we date ? "

That words. That words which I had always imagine I could hear from a man with sparkling blue eyes, nice blond hair and beautiful abs. Well what do i expect from a man who religiously went to the gym every 6.00 am in the morning and feel good just because of his good gym session. I mean he has a good package. He is an engineer, he love riding superbike, he is decent, he have the look that I'm well pleased to see and definitely a good physical outlook. Not just good but superb (hey, 6 packs!) but I chocked for the answer. My mind running fast even my breathing went too weak. 

Me : " I... I dont date. "

That words. From me. Ah, no! I just declined his dating proposal !

Me : I mean, its depend on your dating definition. How you define dating ?

D : Go out, watch movie, food, drink, etc . You ?

Me : Owh..well then its pretty much the same. Minus the skinship.

D : Skinship ? What is that ?

Me : Its... well.. physical contact

D : Owh ! I just googled it. It says no hand-holding.

Me : Yeah. Right. Its a broken english word rooted from Korea.

D : Fair enough ! We can always be friends. Can we go out to the town ?

Me : Yeah we can always be friend ! Town ? Sure. We are friends anyway.

And we  definitely did not hang out. Its me, him. We are both human. We are both do attracted to each other but we are not willing to lose something which we have believe in. That belief either it is a religion or not (sustainable life, green living, open sexuality as a form of pleasure and so natural, hipster, vegan etc) , that belief shape us. Shaped our life. Even if you are born Muslim but if you believe that drinking alcohol is okay then you'll live your life not according to Islam and yet you still claim you'are Muslim. I remembered an English friend told me about his Muslim friends who addicted to alcohol. I was ashamed by that and when he asked why. I said his action make it harder for me to explain about Islam. He told me :

J : Maybe, he loves Allah Iman but he loves alcohol too.

He is right. I dont want to judge anyone.

We see a lot of diversities in this world even in Islam itself. Either you are born Muslim or non-Muslim you should always seek for the truth. By saying this, what I mean is, even I was born Muslim, I find it very hard to understand certain practices by the society which they claimed as Islamic, but as I studied Islam again, based on the hadith and Quran, purely from that sources, I found out all those things which I once doubted were not even Islamic. Its bida'ah (things which been added over time but not even practiced by the Prophet s.a.w and bida'ah is worst than not doing the right thing. because bida'ah you feel good doing it as if you're right). What is worst is when we dont even understand the Quran ! We dont know what Allah was telling us. We know nothing but words and words where we dont even know where those words came from. Quran is made for everyone. Everyone can understand it. You read, if you dont understand then ask from those who studied Quranic Arabic or who studied Quran. 

Even I was born as a Muslim, when I was in my teenage years I always confused with things. With all the diversities. I prayed to God to guide me through. I found Quran and Hadith and these two things are the cure for almost everything happen to me. That are the most valuable thing I had ever known. The words from Allah and the beloved Prophet. When I studied Quran then I realized Jesus is well respected in Islam. He is one of our Prophets. I was raised in a situation where the word Jesus was so taboo. Not among my small family members but the outside of my own house. My father read books (Quran and Gospel/ Injil) meanwhile the society was so scared of the Gospel/Injil and he always respected all the Prophets. He stressed on the akhlak/characteristics. Islam is a way of life. Its not a two separate things between world and hereafter,but by living well in this world according to the book : Quran , we'll live well in the hereafter. Being raised in Kelantan, a state where people hated UMNO/BN so much I always wonder why people are being that way ? 

How someone who are so pious can say bad words to others ? 

Why some pious people were so sharp with how they treat others ? 

Why a person who tried to look as the most pious as they could but backbites others ? 

Then later I realize, it is not the problem with their choice of clothing, not at all but their mentality. For them the outlook is more important until they outweighed the importance of having a good character. By this, it will not make everyone who wear pious clothing in the wrong side, but some of these people have got the wrong perception about Islam. 

Well, its the same thing for those who outweighed the character more than other practices such as hijab, aurat, type of food you eat, prayer etc etc. 

Among us, who are already a Muslim. We too still need to find the Truth and it is a struggle to practice all the guidelines. Yes it is a struggle. Even I'm preaching here I definitely know and admit that I myself is a sinner. I sinned! I'm not perfect. I sinned and I repent. I learned and yet sometimes I did it again then repent again. 

Living in a non Islamic country, met many types of Muslim and non Muslim inc atheist, Jews and Christian, the more I need to find the truth and keep on checking if my Truth is really the Truth ?

How do you know a certain type of food is really not halal ?

How do you know less than 5% of alcohol in food is considered halal ? or is it not ?

How do you react when another Muslim told you they only pray 3 times a day ?

Or when someone came and said : are you listening to music ? thats haraam !

Or what you gonna do when a Muslim says its okay to drink alcohol as long as he dont drink too much/ he is not drunk ?

How do you know which is true ? Definitely staying here I need to dig and dig and dig for the truth. Thanks Lord, truth is there in the Quran and Hadith ! Differences. It is there. Still there.

Alhamdulillah I'm still Iman, the more I met various kind of people the stronger my faith (Iman) is. There are things I can learn from them :) But how sad, there werent anything they could learn from me.... 

I wish I can live in a world where Jews, Christian and Islam will come back all together. God said, Muhammad s.a.w is the last Prophet, he was in this world to approved of the previous religion (Jesus's teaching) and by that his teaching will outlaw the previous teaching. It is that easy, but we are living in a world where resources had been changed for political purposes. From the 4 main bibles now we have more and more bibles published. I have more atheist friends here in UK even they said they were baptized as Christian. 

"And We have revealed to you, [O Muhammad], the Book in truth, confirming that which preceded it of the Scripture and as a criterion over it. So judge between them by what Allah has revealed and do not follow their inclinations away from what has come to you of the truth. To each of you We prescribed a law and a method. Had Allah willed, He would have made you one nation [united in religion], but [He intended] to test you in what He has given you; so race to [all that is] good. To Allah is your return all together, and He will [then] inform you concerning that over which you used to differ." Quran 5:48

"O you who have believed, do not take the Jews and the Christians as allies. They are [in fact] allies of one another. And whoever is an ally to them among you - then indeed, he is [one] of them. Indeed, Allah guides not the wrongdoing people." Quran 5:51

What is wrong with the Jews and Christian. I read the bibles, both Torah and Gospel. There were small diversion related to prophet hood (the Jews did not accept Jesus as the Messiah/Prophet) and Christian accused Jesus to be the God. Whereas in most of other parts such as food and drinking and relationship between men and women are pretty much the same except that the Jews are very strict meanwhile as for the Gospels (careful in which Gospel version you referred to) its pretty loose. Quran called Jews as arrogant people who hid the truth from others. While Christian as the people who are lost but very compassionate and kind. Well, true! 

J-Anne : I believe there is one God, and I believe there is after life... but I dont know which religion is the truth... 

That was the words from my previous housemate. I still remembered because it is a living proof that I did not teach her about Islam as she is still a person who dont know what to believe in up until now. 

What else ? I do have a friend in a relationship with a Jews (but I think he is a Zionist) and they are having problem becuase both dont want to change their religion. Well its not gonna be easy to raise a family with a broken foundation. But i pray that both will be guided plus she is a good girl tho. 

Last but not least :

"for you, why cant you be Muslim when your character is very much like a Muslim ? May God bless you" 

your LIKE is my motivation, thank you ;) and press LIKE of you want MORE too :)


  1. kak iman... miss u..lama tak chat sama-sama.. take care ya..

    1. hey zati take care you too! :) I think we did lol

  2. god!!! I realllllly love this one, akak!

  3. you touch my heart deeply sis !

  4. Akak..miss u...have a nice day!!caiyok!

    1. thank you dik! have a nice day ahead yeah!

  5. yes that's perfect post..i think you are having a good database for that all...this might be helpfull for both of us...thanks so much.
    Trebinje stan

  6. Hi Iman,
    Glad had a chance to meet u @ #SporeWritersFestival...
    Before we departed, u asked me why there's more inter-racial marriage in my hmland.. may i suggest may this be your nxt focus in ur writing - novel or blog here.. am looking fwd to it... cheers dear.. n may u succeed in your endeavour.. attaining phd, writings n life :)

    1. wooops haha lovely to see yo here ! I think i love your suggestion :D inter-racial marriage in Singapore is huge...its so weird, i still waiting to know the secret.

  7. I luv this post..gud job kak iman..

  8. Stil waiting ur next buah hati after 13jam a380

    1. haha that will take some time.. insyaa Allah soon after my phD :) tQ for waiting

  9. Salam Kak Evelyn... Saya minat menulis. Saya nak tanya akak, untuk dapatkan novel yang setebal 600-700 muka surat tu kita kena tulis berapa page ye dekat microsoft word? Sorry saya tanya kat sini. Saya niat nak belajar :D btw, saya suka first novel akak. mak saya pun ulang2 baca. hahaa harap akak sudi balas komen saya ni :)

  10. Evelyn rose...the wedding breaker fb tu hilang ke tau masih wujud?

  11. U re truly my idol kak iman.. love u sòo muchh.. love ur ways too..cre kak iman mnyampaikn dakwah dlm pelbagai segi mmg best, terbaikk.. truskn brdakwah untill d end.. always pray for ur success... always support u kak u :-)

  12. u have make me open my mind .....your writing just inspired me... I.just have falled in love in your idea n your writing...